#AND I HOPE ITLL DO SO MUCH FOR YOU EVEN IF ITS JUST FOR A BRIEF TIME!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pleasedontcareaboutme · 2 months ago

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#helllloooo alll. I thought it'd be perfect to come back today #today is my bdayyy yaaay. ✨#its one of those melancholic ones #when u ponder your existence #but its okay #watched ai no wakusei since it was made in 2004 like me 😔💔#btw #i hope ill be able to ne more active here again #ive just been really busy w school n life and my mental health went 20000 steps down so yes. i hope itll just get better #this bday is always bittersweet #well since its the 19th #itll always be #honestly ive been avoiding subrosa even until now cuz my mental health is so shit i cant even imagine how subrosa will make me feel. but im #on it. i honestly miss all of u guys so much. ye probably not many of u care but still #i like this place. it feels somewhat like home. even tho i still feel out of place sometimes its still comforting being here. whatever lol #havent yapped in a while so im vomiting words. love you all. im hoping the depressive episode will leave my ass finally.#u know its bad when u havent watched bt lives since around mid november #but its okay ai no wakusei somewhat healed me. so im hoping for the best now (says this every month and ends up worse)#yeah.#🥰#buck tick #atsushi sakurai #ameoto ha Chopin no Shirabe #even if i cant come back yet im thinking abt all of u n love u. take care of yourselves and yes. do stuff you love. smell roses. look at th #moon that's been soooo beautiful lately 🥺 love #Spotify

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puppppppppy · 1 year ago

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adhd comix

#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired #like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability #and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors #i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working #isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol #if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you #need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid #im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher #to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll #go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms #AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis #theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were #comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run #and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make #a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need #to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh #yapping #vent

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potatobugz · 7 months ago

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i feel as if im going mad so im going to just put this out here. real quick. movieunleashers starters ramble.

i cant stop thinking about how mudkip broke down in that one scene in "Typomaniac," when Chespin called him mean. for a second he lets his mask slip a little bit and to me he just... acts his age. he starts crying and calls chespin mean back. maybe im just hyperfocusing on this one detail but mudkip is about 12 years old.

and that just makes me wonder what happened in this guys life that brought him to where he is now. and it makes it all the more tragic how his whole world revolves around chespin, but he is the one bringing him the most pain. and how young he was when he died.

there is a large theme of growing up in "Rare Candy." the characters ages are emphasized in that particular episode, and one of the main conflicts is fennekin wanting to evolve faster.

the thing about characters in these stories is that they're not allowed to just be kids, to have a childhood. so many bad things happen to them. like. mudkips whole, Everything. fennekin when she was famous in typomaniac, or dealing with her own insecurities/pressure from society about her relationship w chespin. and chespin always having to shoulder his friends problems & always somehow managing to stay positive despite everything.

why cant they just. play video games. eat ice cream or something. go to the movies

at the end of the day, i think both mudkip and fennekin are characters who grew up too fast. by distancing himself from them, chespin refused to follow in their footsteps and just wanted to stay a kid.

good for him.

#starters movieunleashers #rambles #long post #mudkip starters #fennekin starters #chespin starters #NOT TO SAY THAT BEING 12 YEARS OLD ABSOLVES YOU OF ALL CRIME BUT GOOD GOD #i honestly think it was good for chespin to distance himself from them??? especially mudkip. holy cow #he seemed... happier(?) in wild oranberries but tbf its hard to say for sure #bc chespin loves doing this thing called “lying”#also. i saw the end credits sequence #not sure how to feel about it i do not have enough information to go off of #but i suppose itll make more sense... all in due time #but going back to what i said earlier i think the issues a lot more complicated #i worry about chespin that boys friendship is basically just “i can fix him!” like girl. no #THEY ALL NEED THERAPY #INCLUDING THE GANG FROM LAVENDER TOWN #*ESPECIALLY* THOSE GUYS #please. ill cry #i cant help but think this will all end in tragedy #i hope mudkip gets a good ending or at least a bittersweet one #like again. he kills people. but hes also like not even in high school and i feel bad for all of them #anyways IM SORRH GOR YHE LONG RAMBLE I RLLY LIKE THIS SERIES??? AND THIS THOUGHT WAS EATING ME ALIVE SO I RLLY WANTED TO SAY IT #hey gang. new hyperfixation #hm. i should also mention the “watching his close friend die on front of him and feeling responsible for it” to the list of chespins traumas #i domt think fennekin was a “bad friend” as much as i think she just had her owm things toing on #and its entirely chespins choice to dostance himself from her

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puhpandas · 3 months ago

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I want the fnaf dbd chapter to be good so bad

#like theres literally no evidence that it wont be good yet at all #but its FNAF.#like dbd is so creative and has majorly been cooking with recent chapters stepping out of their comfort zone #fnaf chapter has so much potential #but im just afraid itll just be springtrap and a nightguard thats it #no cosmetics of other characters besides like og Freddy fazbear or vanessa survivor #even tho dbd usually has 1 female and 1 male survivor and vanessa is a female security guard important to story and she has a FACE #like it just feels like exactly the kind of L we would take #that somehow she wouldnt make it in #like please behavior cook 😭#give us a vanessa survivor and vanny cosmetic on the springtrap killer and my life is yours #especially because killers have recently been allowed to interact directly with the survivors from their chapter???#like imagine a vanny killer having special lines with a vanessa survivor #fucking peak #the potential is there but you know. its fnaf and im talking about SW era characters here #i have hope but man i hope we get trailers/teasers soon bc im so hesitant to expect all this cool stuff #even tho it genuinely is on track with what dbd does with everything else they do and not wishful thinking #thoughts #pre dbd x fnaf

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dirt-str1der · 18 days ago

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Random people put a like on my ryusen marriage post every once in a while this makes me happy i like ryusen

#Listen to my problems #actual s tier ship ...#the best most awesome ships in the fandom are ryusen and kohagen #a tier ships are kohaluna (shoukd be s tier but they dont have enough canon points) and mozgen #that one guy on twt who ships senxen like a maniac is fucking awesome also. and putting senku on top is actually more based than anything in #this life or the next. like yeah ??? yeah ??????????#until it becomes shotacon then sorry #but like GOD come on now #the reason why im not talking about tksn is because its in its own tier called tksn which is above everything else #actually stanxe is in the tksn tier too thats why i didnt talk about it #oh my god wait the reason why i like ryusen so much is because i see ryusui as asexual and senku as ... not !#waiter waiter ! more nonstandard pairings please !! wait i hope this post doesjt show up in the main tags im sorry #another ship i really love is kohahyo because like shes so cute and not even scared of him #i love shipping kohaku with men even though shes literally a lesbian to me because shes my comphet queen whos looking for a baby daddy #like if she cant have senku then she will pick gen but senku wants her to do it with tsukasa out of scientific curiosity but also kohaku #just existing as she is makes guys like her and i believe in my heart that hyoga has a soft spot for her cuz everyone does and shes the #baby of the fight crew (god she really is the youngest and tiniest member...) i say the fight team i literally mean only hyoga tsukasa and #kohaku because the three of them are always deployed together but i like to think hyoga has a little crush on her #like he has a little crush on gen too but because hes fun to bully and cute but for kohaku he wants to take care of her #and she will never fucking know because he will take this to his grave. sorry this is a ryusen post i love ryusen #what are the other good ships ... honestly joel and spiders is kinda.... OH MY GOD WAIT SPIDERS AND RYUSUI. SO AWESOME #i call her spiders because i used to cover her body with spiders but her name is minami and shes the reporter lady in love with tsukasa. my #favourite ryusui ships are with spiders and senku who are both madly in love with tsukasa (coincidence)#there was that one shipping chart i saw where everybody loves nikki and i thought that was funny as fuck like thanks ! true !!#i also like shipping gen with maya because i think he should sleep with as many people who can break his pelvis as possible. fandom bicycle #and ryusui gets to follow stanxe around because everyones his partner. i saw a fanart of him making out with taiju.. the scream i scrumpt...#but also yeah you need to commit to it or itll become lame and boring #i didnt talk about s/g because it sucks #anyway say congratulations to dr and mr stone for finally getting married congrats ryusen i dont even ship you two

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pastellmochi · 27 days ago

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non paralive moots im begging yuo listen to my wife singing

#i was behind the camera nd i never blinked once lookinf at him i will jeffthge killer style burnoff my eyelids so th better i can lookathimw #i need to put My oil in his pores #i woudl fry my food w his face oil i'll let him feed me cockroaches and set me on fire like the one vid of the guy w the cockroach as long #s i get to set him on fire back i hope they project this on time square toe curlinf music tha t makes me gag if i was a vampire and he was #n his period. strawberry jam im in the background of all the shots just watching him itmust be crazy goinf from ibuki imperialism #sitch to kenta character focus all rise for the anthem of every country ever united under one stupid greenfHIS EXTRA VERSE IS PLAYOING OAOO #kenta shimeji that deletes all my shit and only plays his songs #gonna recite thi slike a mantra to myself rock myself back and forth in a corner if i get out of a parakive concert itll look like attempte #murder but i did it all myself in will be the guardian angel to everyone who worked on this everything after gokuluck is opposite of peak #poo. opposite of peak is poodoodoo. imagine having to ppost yer music after peakuluck kenta solved all my problems ever I LOVE WHEN YOU #CAN HEAR KENTAS SNARKY SMILE his little Alrights and okays and buu!If the sneezing when someones talking ab you myth was true #he would be sneezy bc of me HANDSOME HIII HANDSOME how am i gonna talk to non paralive moots what do i even say Hello! How ar e you!#i cant do that anymore im the surprise man from freak month are you sure its alright are you sure UUGUHHHH THE LITTLE wikaioaiugh at beginn #ng i love music thanks for inventing music guys thanks for inventing handsome Lockjaw Parvo Tetnis Botfly kenta tetnis eerm i thought yousa #tetris ☝️‼️‼️‼️ EVERYONE SHUT UP HES SPEAKING. LISTEN LISTENthe world will be like that one scen e in the one movie where they all stop tal #EXTRA VERSE CUTIEBEAR I LOV E YOU YOU SOUND SO PRETTYYY WE FINALLY GOT PRETTY SOUNDING KENTA AWROOO BOW WOW !!!!!! ing when he heads upstai #and just look at him when claudio went how cute how fun how SWEET and also when claudio went i spit in it my saliva is now inside all of th #se peoples bodies thats me when kenta leaves his energy drinks unattended but dw itll add extra fizz Hi ryog A the only way to describe how #i feel about kenta is like claudio gregory shawn mendes you cast a Spell on me Spell on me! STILL ALIVE okau HES SO CUUUTE kenta i will hel #you dispose of every other groups bodies okau man i gotta draw salkenta after this day 1 of scarface I already feel my beast form taking p #HIIIIE KENTA RIDE ON RIDE ON INDEED WAUAUUAA WAUUAUAUUAUA WAUAUAUAUAU kachi toru made lets be like UTV and the archiver babydoll my face is #n fire and SOOOO ARE YOUUUU KENTA COVER OF EVERYTHING FOR APRIL FOOLS CROSSING MY FINGERSS NO POINT IN ACTIN LIKE I DONT LIKE HIM I FOOOOLD #IM YOURS cozmez long forgotten they can be locked in the dome forever for all i care salkenta time im going to sweep kenta off his feet pri #cess style MY PRINCESS YOU DID SO WELL I'LL REWARD YUOUUU youre right youre a musical genius my god my savior my everything you are light y #u are like a fallen angel to me im gonna go kiss him sloppy now and listen to His Own music and draw him GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IM A GOKULU #K GIRL thank you for reading so far i really love kenta and he straight up changed my life i got rid of my ocd opened tabs so i could #watch the stream and i started drawing after 3 years and got back into music and made friends bc of him genuinely i love this guy so much #and no amount of content creation or words could ever convey it but i'll do s o either way i love this community i love my friends i lvoe m #paralive friends i love kenta. i lov ekneta i love kenta

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youredreamingofroo · 9 months ago

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I'm in shambles today. my mini fridge melted some of the ice in its little freezer compartment and I didn't realize until now and now my rug that's sitting there (almost underneath it) is soaked on the corner 🥲🫠

#its like. an eighth of the rug?? idk. it still pisses me off tho 😭#like WHY why did you melt. youre so annoying. im so annoyed ahsjsjsj #i cant even move it out atm because i have so much fucking shit covering it UGH 😕 i hate. depression. and depression rooms (specif. mine).#im just hoping itll dry out by itself. i do NOT want mold jfc.#ill prolly check it in a couple hours (so long as i dont fall asleep for a millenia 🧍‍♂️)#yapping

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itsalwaysdark · 4 months ago

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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid #but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil #i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl #spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but #i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to #afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like #vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you #should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done #with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt #but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen #but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the #way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so #tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me #sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and #it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there #nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having #to work for the rest of my life #ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be #Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes #all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does #but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its #back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until #i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep #and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice #days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends #IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so #dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like #its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going

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arolesbianism · 8 months ago

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Man oni can't do this to me I'm supposed to be preparing for artfight but all I can think abt is Them™ from the second I wake up to the moment I go to bed how am I supposed to prepare in these circumstances 😔

#rat rambles #oni posting #and dude the beta is probably still going to be going during that time klei how could you do this to me #like I will still be participating in artfight but I fear Ill be on oni lockdown for the first week or smth dhskdhkdh #Ill try to at least sketch some stuff out but god if I can get my hands onto any amount of lore its so jover #now thats not a guarantee this is a beta after all but god man. fuck.#also I need to know the new dupes name right now its important #mostly because I want confirmation that I got z on the cypher right lol #chances are theyll just have another a name or smth #who knows maybe theyll have a w name and be the second ever contender for being sent to the constant #although for all we know there could be plenty more w names in the cast that are just hidden in the full names like with nails #I am in such agony rn with seemingly every place ppl post abt oni being dead silent still hello is anyone there #I thought Id at least see some more speculative stuff on the gameplay side of things but Ive seen like 2 things where ppl even bring it up #tbf some of the new stuff seems pretty obvious to deduce to me like there's no way the new fox deers dont produce lumber #and we already know the bunny guys (or the big one at least) provides reed fiber at least #the plants are mostly more mysterious tho #we have the obvious one being our new bestie the oxylite plant and the lil puffball tree thats probably the new decor plant #and the crystal grapes are probably going to be a new muckroot equivalent and at least one of the new plants probably produces smth edible #as for what recourses they need we know that at least 2 of them need watered in some way #Im currently betting theyll need ethanol but thats not based on a lot #honestly if any of them use plain ol water or even any water variants Ill be surprised #I wouldn't be surprised if most of them take ethanol or some liquid gas or smth #I still am holding out on a plant that consumed liquid carbon dioxide but Im not too hopeful #one thing Im very curious on is just everything abt how the oxylite plant grows I wanna know how good itll be so bad #because I am a proud member of the desperately wants more viable oxygen production option in oni gang and I wanna see this baby flourish #but based on how seemingly abundant it is Im afraid itll just join the squad of early game oxygen options that become too much of a hassle #to sustain late game so you're usually just going to switch to exlectroliszers each time #I hope Im wrong but I wont be surprised if Im not #they already took one oxygen plant out back and shot it dead so this guy might just be a corpse on arival if we're unlucky #well hey thats why there's a beta ig gotta make sure things are balanced or whatever

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sucktacular · 2 years ago

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tagged by @lightyaoigami <3!! rules- shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people!

Hayloft II - Mother Mother

You Stupid Bitch - Girl In Red

Char - Crystal Castles

Letter From A Thief - Chevelle

Cigarettes & Feelings - The Haunt

Permanent Reblellion - L.S. Dunes

I Hope You're Happy - Blue October

Guilt - Radical Face

The Middle - Jimmy Eats World

Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore - Paramore

tagging @cat-boy-girl @oberon-vortigern @mothscales @tuffcatdad @taekonaut @backalleysamurai @apheliavampire @chiefyartsreblogs @ohkaiden @l3irdl3rain & anyone that wants to join in!! <3

#sucktacular sucks #rb chain #yall i JUST found out there IS an actual playlist called on repeat on spotify?? LOL #i had to google this shit to find it my god ANYWAY WE'RE IN IT NOW >:3c - search 'on repeat' on your spotify and itll pop up #hayloft II coming up on the first play is so cringe but also i love it im sorry the beat fucks and it's birthdaymassacre-core u w u #B and naomi fuck in the hayloft and naomis dad shoots B (as he should) and then naomi kills her dad (as she should)!#anyway solid songs as of recent #kinda sad more of my 90s/2000s playlist isnt on here :( but its fair cuz i dont be playing it as much as my other one #i wanna do one of these but we pick one line from each song that speaks to us the most #try to remember that: I Hope You're Happy. I Hope You're Good. I hope you get what you wish for. and youre well understood #and whatever your progress. i know youll be fine. cuz i hope youre happy. even if youre not mine. - to every person ive ever held close #that isn't as close as we use to be/we dont talk anymore/our dynamic changed #those lyrics are so fucking me-core it hurts ; w ; <3 #ANYWAY THANKS FOR TAG MEEEE <3

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samwisefamgee · 2 years ago

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god wants me to kill myself sooooo fucking bad lately lol nice try bitch im queer

#you dont even fuxking know #the number of. literally impossible coincidences that have taken place to make my life just so much shittier lately #i have been sooo strong ive written like two dozen text posts just bitching and bitching about the sheer fuxking insanity of it and i only #posted like one of them im doing so good being so strong #that said i want to fucking die today lol this shit is melting my brain #it just never ends #the past two weeks have just been... so bad lol #i havent been able to see my bank balance in weeks i just know im so in the fucking hole it doesnt even matter #i havent had a working phone in a month #my family just vacationed in hawaii and im living in a moldy trailer #and the physical and mental health just go and go and go #and the mold grows and groes and grows #my friend offered me a top of the line pc for free and it felt like offering a homeless guy who loves music a grand piano #like yeah lemme just keep that under the bridge downtown where i stay lol #itll be fine #its like all the nice things id love to experience are dangled just out of reach of my fuckin cell bars lol #might fuck around and get addicted to a third substance in light of hope being a fool's errand in a truly random universe #life isnt guarunteed to get better no matter how long you wait or how hard you try actually and that is a hard fucking truth for everyone #alcohol is free and can keep your mind off how much mold & dust you breathe daily & breathed in the past 2 years & thats also a hard truth #also reading this i need to clarify in case anyone else reads this shitsheet. i do not want to vacation in hawaii. colonizer shit #what i wouldnt fucking do for just a week up by priest lake tho :(

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andragoras-in-vanity · 28 days ago

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i need to play another fantasy game, alas now that i know my laptop can in fact run bd3 i dont have money for it, how do we think i could handle replaying pillars? not nearly as depressing yeah??

#genuinely dont rememver the games much other than the fucking fantastic pantheon in deadfire but the short and somehwat lacking story #which made me sad cause one had an amazing and long plot #but deadfire disappointed me with how short it felt and a lot of sidequests that werent worth doing #also still mad i couldnt date kana tbh #but i played that on my fucking tablet and nearly fried it #now that ive got my hefty laptop itll run smoother #i did really love a lot about deadfire and the gods though #i just like anything having to do with the gods in fantasy form #although i feel like soemthingnmissed its mark with the end of veilguard and i cant place what it was #i loved how horrifying it was to learn all of this as an elf #genuinely going to be gutted for the rest of my life #but i did fogure out my complain other than the technical stuff and the stronghold is that it lacked hope #even though i was either qun or lavellan in dai the dawn will come was such a strong moment of hope #very lotr to me #and i need that in fantasy #there just wasnt enough emotional support in veilguard. at the very least the one companion desth should have been avoidable if they werent #going to make you feel like your companions had your back more tbh #but yeah wonky too easy end and technical stuff aside it was so great and im Afeared for the next game #did not...like thst set up

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jackass-jones · 8 months ago

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People in the notes have said physical therapist Akihiko and ohohoho you fools you fucking clowns you don’t even know. Imagine Shinji getting out of the coma and all the rehabilitation shit he’s gotta do all the physical therapy like you just know Akihiko is so fucking over the moon he’s done so much research he’s so excited to see Shinji have a “training regime” he infodumps about what’s happening with the muscle recovery process and what stretches work best hes just way too invested he talks over doctors and Shinji is just like “good god if you know so much why don’t you just be a physical therapist” and Akihiko’s like 😈

Akihiko becoming a cop is something that simply doesn’t happen in the coma route cuz Shinji would see that shit and be like Aki what the actual hell is wrong with you

#like he does feel upset seeing shinji in such a vulnerable state and struggling with everything #but it does get overshadowed by excitement mitsuru is like ‘please he just got out of a coma stop being so pushy 😵‍💫’#hes just so invested he gets to learn so much shit he never even considered before its so interesting #and i think itd be very important that hes much more aware of like limits this time cuz a big strain in his relationship with shinji was #aki being pushy and not understanding shinjis limits and shinji being bad at letting himself have limits and communicating them #and like its very important not to push too hard when recovering from a coma cuz itll just make things worse #its a big adjustment for both of them cuz akihiko definitely has always been told to push harder past limits and to always try to be #stronger and not let yourself stop and its more important now than ever to unlearn that attitude #and shinji is so all or nothing like he either quits too fast or pushes to the point of destruction without communicating anything #so its very easy for him to get trapped in a hopeless spiral when things take time and then get desperate and try too hard #but he gets a lot of encouragement from everyone this time and its sooo weird and annoying and overwhelming but it is nice #also quick tangent like really pisses me off when ppl write shinji just like MIRACULOUSLY SPRINGING OUT of the coma like he just pops awake #gets up and starts running to do shit which tbf the game does it too but its like dude hes been in a like 6 month coma #im not an expert i still got a lotta research to do but i mean theres so much shit hes gonna go through #even if theres no like brain damage youre still gonna have to relearn basic stuff like eating breathing walking and like. general awareness #of your surroundings and who you are and what happened to you and 6 months is so long too so its gonna be rough #im not saying you gotta give him like brain damage but damn at least establish that recovery is lengthy and difficult #his ass is not walking around!!!#also hes still got a lot of mental illness and like did get shot fully believing he deserved to die so like hes also gotta lot of mental #health recovery to be doing like unless he somehow has some magical therapy coma dreams things arent gonna be perfect peachy for him #i get wanting to make everything happy but idk personally i think id rather it be gradual and a struggle cuz its more realistic and like #i think having this character just miraculously be fine is such a disservice like i think he deserves to have love and hope for him even #when its difficult cuz his life will never be easy he’ll never be free from the trauma but that doesnt mean his life isnt worth living #and him being loved unconditionally even though hes a ‘burden’ is so so important to me #i just hate the laziness like wheres the love man wheres the genuine character appreciation #anyway physical therapist aki its canon now hed be so so good at it and hes got personal experience

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thoughts-and-all-that · 6 months ago

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literally had to quietly turn off asks on my main because in the last line 2 weeks ive gotten probably 50 asks about that whole situation asking for money. how about no.

i 1. dont have money 2. live in fucking missouri usa 3. dont have any influence nor reach online and 4. refuse to post about that topic on my main blog EVER. because i like my main staying as light hearted as possible.

i am the last person these people should be sending asks to about this.

hell, there was even one that started with 'youre our last hope!!!' no the fuck im not. you probably sent that ask to 100 people. i am no ones last hope.

also apparently im r@cist for thinking that at least a few of these are scams. because there totally couldnt be people taking advantage of this situation to be greedy and awful and scam people. it wouldnt be the first time, nor the last.

it was also just annoying. i never get people talking to me online anymore so when i get asks its usually so exciting... but now it was just dreadful. 'whos gonna try and guilt trip me today?'

seriously, most of them started guilt trippy. at least some of them started polite though.

i know its a huge tragedy and w@r and all that but i dont know why i need to have any part of it. there is nothing i can do about it, and all it would do is make me upset, especially because theres nothing i can do.

and people can tell me all they want 'but there IS something you can do!!' but like... if people are getting killed, i doubt me signing a petition is gonna make them go 'oh, i guess i was wrong to kill people, sorry' like...

and like i said, i dont have reach or influence online. plus, thousands if not millions of people are already posting about this topic CONSTANTLY and saying everything better than i could, and having more reach than i ever will. i think me not posting about it will be fine.

#this whole thing has been going on since before literally all of us were born. probably even since before my dad was born.#like maybe we can sway it around and shit but i doubt itll end anytime soon.#thats awful to say and it feels awful to say because i know its horrible but #thats just how it feels to me #plus i dont like the idea of making things about countries. its the government. its always the government #but anyone who says 'dont blame the everyday people for this' and shit are called g3noclde apologists #seriously. every single time someone calls a celebrity that and i look up what they ACTUALLY said. its ALWAYS THAT.#its not 'wow im so glad that people are dying and i love the government for it!'#its ALWAYS 'hey please dont hate the everyday people who are just trying to live their lives in that country'#its begging you to not see things as purely black and white and begging you to not harass people who have nothing to do with it #not to mention all the @ntlsemltlsm people are throwing around #dude most celebrities saying that stuff are j3wlsh too. like ive seen maybe one g0y say that and the rest were j3wlsh #idk how much i need to censor but i dont want people finding this im just ranting #hot take that could get me killed if people found it but #everyone else is worrying about one side. i think its fine if some people worry about the innocent people on the other side. someone has to.#like. even with the other w@r that started a few years ago. that one sucks too but i couldnt help but worry about my russlan friend #i hope hes still doing okay. he seemed to be last i saw him

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dcggone · 6 months ago

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i think ill taking an office position at this philosophy club i joined at school. i say that knowing the workload ive already taken on is daunting and a wee bit scary

#im very excited to hang with the philosophy students like whatchall got going on...#i gotta admit. i love every physics student ive met so far. even the annoying ones have so much character and are a blast #i feel their passions and am colored by theirs souls #the math majors are soulless and boring you can tell some of them are business minors/majors too like milquetoast got nthg #going on #the engineers...not exactly the same but an inbetween #philosophy majors at the very least?? i hope itll be a mentally stimulating environment.#like being able to just have free flowing discussions could be real nice. i think i have a lot of thoughts rn #on the state of the world. on family. on the self. on love and peace and on other people being hell.#my favorite person ive met at school. even though i kinda cant stand him lol #my favorite person ive met is a physics major philosophy minor. and i mean we'd sit and talk for hooours about every lil thing #these long drawn out discussions on politics life love art. whether people do or dont have free will. (we do!) etc.#i just need a space to talk. to be mentally stimulated and feel like im mentally stimulating others yknow.#whenever i try to talk to people about whats on my mind they literally couldnt care less but tbh most of my family is made up of people #pleasers.#we were taught from a very young age not to think critically and my whole immediate family are very dimwitted and dont challenge the world.#or the status quo. they dont think about anything thats hard to think about :(#and like most of the US is like that. which is why this country is so ugly and wilted. its dying.#i just want to convince myself that there are people out there that still have a whimsy and fascination about the world #essentially...philosophy club save me. please save me philosophy club

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nexttothelamp · 9 months ago

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.....

#the legal battle will take so long #this is going to be the hardest thing ive ever done and maybe will ever do #life has and will change forever. for the better? i hope but i dont know #is this the right thing to do? yes #does that make it easier? ....only slightly. and itll have to be enough. and i realize now that it is #but oh god does it hurt. im a victim too maybe the oldest one? oldest one alive anyway. that i know of #i cant. believe it #hindsight is 40/20 in this case but fuck #a part of me wants to tell him #to pull him aside and say #i know what you did. i know what you did and its going to come out.#and if it was only in the past i might choose to let the dead rest #but i cant let you near those kids. i can only pray to a god i dont believe in that its not already too late #but baby axel still has a chance #i know with this shit system i wont be able to take the kids from derek #but i can put you away and maybe thatll be enough #i wanna tell him that im going to the police and they WILL be coming to his mothers house #and i wanna tell him that because i loved him. So MUCH once #that im giving him the chance to kill himself and take the cowards way out before its too late #i... mean that a little too and that hurts the most #i cant kill him even though id like to choke the life out of him myself #i cant ruin my life for the man that tried to already #but it would save us all so much trouble if he did us all a favor and shot himself in the fucking skull #theres always going to be more kids and hes gotten to 4 over 2 decades at least. and those are only the ones i know for certain #hes just a pedophile. it makes so much sense now #fuck. fuck.#maybe in a few days ill be able to think about something else #can barely focus on trump getting convicted lol #id say delete later but i wont

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